I don't know if this happens with other sisters that leave on their missions with a boyfriend waiting for them at home? I am assuming that it is not easy for anyone, which is why most people don't do it and just get married. I made the decision after much prayer and fasting that serving a mission would be the best thing that I could do for myself and my future family. So I did and it was not easy at all those first few months. The fact that I knew I was meant to be there serving did not make it a drop easier.
I was having such a hard time with the language, understanding my companion and missing James that I was seriously considering returning home. And then I went to sleep one night.
I dreamed that I was walking in a park across from our apartment in Tacna. On the far side James was standing there with his hands in his pockets. He was solemn in his facial expression, quiet and observant. As I recognized him I dropped everything and sprinted across the park. (I think my knee high nylons I had been duck taping up to my calves for the past couple weeks even started to fall down as they had been doing lately.) I reached James and threw my arms up to hug and hold him. He stepped back and I almost fell on my face. My heart sank. I only needed for him to hold me and tell me he had a plane ticket and that he would take me home. He looked me square in the eye and said, "You are not a quitter. You belong here. You need to forget me and get to work."
I would like to say that I woke up that next morning and totally forgot about James. I couldn't. However, I no longer felt the uneasy restlessness of not knowing if I really belonged there. I felt peace and comfort that James would be taken care of. We both had things we needed to learn and experience to help our future family. Things we needed to go through separately to help us be stronger later on in our marriage. My Heavenly Father answered my prayers through a dream. I am so grateful that He knows me and loves me enough to answer my pleading prayers.
