"I picked this dress out all by myself to wear to the temple."

These were Annie's words as she came to sit down with us to our late dinner of pizza and homemade banana pudding this evening.  She was wearing a white dress with little shoulder straps and a huge smile.  She was so proud.  And we were very impressed that our little drive past the closed for maintenance Billings temple last week paid off.  We asked her what she was going to do at the temple.  She said, "Go inside."  and the with further prodding of what she would do inside, she said, "Get married to Hank."  We will work on straightening that one out later... hehehe. 

At my Grandma's funeral, one of my uncles shared that the lesson that he remembered most from growing up from his mom was the importance of being married and sealed in the temple for all time and eternity.  All of her 7 kids were able to achieve this great blessing and the family has been so blessed for it. 

That has become one of my most important principles that I wish to teach my children, to be married in the temple.  All of the choices leading up to this goal are choices that will bring them safety, joy, peace and strength.  They will know who they are, who their savior is and most importantly that they can be an eternal family. 

Chalk, $100, Tires

Three tender mercies as of late.
1. I went to the local auction yesterday to look for some very needed tires for our truck and trailer.  Turns out that you need tires to have rubber cover the metal binding for them to be safe....  :)  So, the tires obviously went for three times the price I was willing or able to pay for them.  As I was observing the items being auctioned off I saw a cute little pink storage container, a helmet, and a huge container of chalk.  I thought, "oohhh!  Annie and Hank would love it!"  As it always proves true, the lot went for alot more than I could or would pay for it.  The funny thing is the old man standing next to me bought it.  I leaned over and jokingly said, "that'll be fun for you to draw pictures on your sidewalk!"  He said, "I am looking forward to it."  But really is was for his little granddaughter.  I remarked, "She will love it!  I know my little girl would."  We bid each other well... kind of... I got a phone call and walked away.  As I entered the building again, the old man found me and insisted that I take the chalk for my little girl.  I was touched by his sincerity and kindness and recognizing an opportunity to let someone feel that they were listened to and cared that their little girl could have fun with a box of chalk.  
2. A phone call from our kind, wonderful, and very amazing landlords resulted in our rent being lowered for the winter months.  That just doesn't happen ever!  I so desperately want to be able to do for another family what they have done and are doing for our family during this time of our lives!  We will pass this Huge tender mercy forward!  We are so indebt with blessings!
3. The forementioned tires that went to the auction to buy and then didn't... well, we were given a set that will work perfect from my parents and my grandpa!

This I believe is proof of the simple concept... If you give what you have, you will be provided for!  We are so grateful for the little miracles that occur everyday!

Truth

I should be sitting here doing my billing for the previous month... or a million other things.  I cannot stop contemplating and rethinking over and over one simple concept.  The concept... what is truth and how do I know what is true?  I have been thinking over the past couple months of what are things that I can absolutely without a doubt say that I know to be truth.  Not "maybe truths", not "it would be nice if they were true", or "I am pretty sure it is truth".  (Hopefully you are following me still.)
I have discovered that I have a list that is rather small of complete and absolute truths that I can say with all depth and sincerity of my heart are true and will never change no matter what or whoever changes or influences any aspect of the purity of the truth.  (There are other truths that I know, but they hinge on the fact that these truths are true.)

The truths I know:
1. This is the most important.  I know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and that I am of divine worth.  I know that He loves me and knows me very well and perfectly.  I know I can pour out my heart to Him in gratitude and sorrow and know that I will be understood and be given comfort and strength.

2. I know that I have an elder brother Jesus Christ who is my Savior and Redeemer.  I know that He gave His life for me personally and atoned for my mistakes.  I know that He can identify perfectly with how I feel in every situation in my life.

3. I know that when I try to base my life on His example of how he lives His life, I will be happy.

4. I know that the Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ.  It is the book that will bring you the most happiness and understanding when studied than any other act.

5. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God and that he was able to restore Christ's church once again on the earth in it's fulness.

6. I know that my family loves me and accepts me.

7. I know that I have alot to offer and through serving others and giving of the blessings that we receive as a family we are entirely blessed one hundred fold.

I came to find these truths not because anyone told me to believe them.  I have put to practice the "try it and find out" method with a lot of prayer and even more trial and error.  I cannot nor will I ever deny these truths.  It runs that deep in who I am and where I come from eternally.

What more could you want?

Not only are they the cutest in the world!... They are our kids!  Man are they cute or what?

S to the 4th: The Five Minute Family Home Evening

S to the 4th: The Five Minute Family Home Evening: We had a family home evening tonight. We have been trying to have one every Sunday evening for about a month now... I took much comfort in ...

The Five Minute Family Home Evening

We had a family home evening tonight. We have been trying to have one every Sunday evening for about a month now...  I took much comfort in what a friend said last Sunday at church.  "Family Home Evenings will only last about five minutes in total with small children.  Don't feel like it doesn't matter..."  That is about what ours have been lasting for the opening prayer, song, lesson, activity and treat...  Not too bad right?  Annie invented a song for us to sing, Hank played with the pumpkin seeds James was using as a visual for the Faith as a Mustard...errr. pumpkin seed comparison.  My favorite part was how while we ate our "apple pie" all Annie could talk about was how we had sung her song that she made up and how she and Hank had helped make the "Apple Pie."  James thought that the closing prayer for our little FHE would be sufficient for the night night prayer... not a go.  Annie refused to accept that and we all had to say the prayer for the night again as we do on normal nights.  I am so grateful that for the many weaknesses and mistakes that we have made that we have been able to manage to instill somewhat of a tradition on our kids of this simple act of family prayer.  Hopefully our five minute FHE's will also take root.

I get frustrated a lot because I look at the whole picture and see the "catastrophe" when if I could narrow in and see the little miracles than I can be happy with and that eventually they will add up to an innumerable amount of perfection right?  For example, I spent most of Saturday organizing the kids clothes (and believe me, I have not done that all summer and I had boxes and boxes of clothes that had so graciously been gifted to us...)  I walked out of the guest room feeling satisfied until I walked into the rest of the house and saw the disarray.  I lost all satisfaction of doing what I had done and began seeing the whole mess.  The tender mercy really was in that I had just organized all the clothes, done all the laundry and put it all away!!!!!  That is a miracle in itself.

Lastly, I am so grateful for this past summer... Did I mention I am 95% done with work this summer and I mean Fall!  I get to be a mom to my kids and learn about everything that I missed out on this summer.  I love my work.   We are soo blessed to work for and with the people that we do.  Many have it far worse than we do.  But this next six months of getting to be mommy has been well earned!  I cannot thank those who have helped us out soo much this summer with caring for our kids and checking in to make sure we are still alive.

Potty training with ants in my Pants

So I feel that I want to remember and laugh at all the potty training experiences that we have had lately with Annie.  They make me giggle quite a bit.  It has been a harder go because one I am not around enough to be any kind of consistant with her and two she kind of does what she wants anyways.  She has spurts of doing really good and not so good.  Which the not so good ones are hilarious!
- We took a trip to Wyoming during a good spell.  She said that she had to go  potty in the middle of a stretch of nowhereness, so we pull over and let her pee beside the truck... SHE LOVED IT!  So much so we did not have a wet diaper the whole trip... and then she insisted that outside was where she was going potty from now on.  Not so good.
- We made it home and for some time now she has been complaining about her tummy hurting.  She never acts sick and it is most always after she eats and drinks.  We tell her to drink a little slower.  We were eating our dinner out in the yard a couple weeks ago and she gets up from the picnic table and says, "my tummy hurts."  We tell her to go use the potty.  She runs over to the sidewalk and stands there.  "My tummy hurts."  "Go inside." we say.  No she will not...  All of a sudden her pants slowly start showing wetness all down her legs and the way to her toes and a puddle emerges on the sidewalk. (She was wearing her underwear because she insisted she would not potty in them.)  The whole time asking here... are you pottying?  No, she would say... None the less, her tummy did not hurt after that.
- As we were out in the yard again another evening, I saw that Annie had pooed her diaper.  Which rarely happens,because she thinks it is fun to poo in the toilet.  I went to quickly talk with our neighbor before I gathered them up to take them inside to change diapers.  As I was walking back, I saw a naked bumb sticking underneath the hose bib out in our yard running full blast trying to get all the poo off.  I wish I had a camera, because it was honestly the funniest thing I had seen all day.  I needed the laugh.  She then thought she needed to go talk with the neighbor and see their dogs before we could get her cleaned up.  So naked, poopy bum and all ran across the street to see the neighbors.  Good thing they are understanding neighbors...
- Last funny story.  I thought it was funny...  I sat in the grass yesterday waiting for some people to come pick up a trailer, when I felt something crawl down my pants and tickle me.  I thought I had gotten it out, it ran out, it was gone.  Nope, I tried swatting it again, thought it was gone for sure now.  I went to the AT&T Store and was standing if front talking with the front people and would you know it the ant was now very angry to still be in my pants and began biting me all over my tush.  I couldn't shake it free, swat it, pinch it.  I even tried sticking my hand down my back side to swoosh it off... inconspicously.  Good luck.  I finally had to say..."I think I have an ant in my pants.  Do you have a restroom I can use to get it out?"  I got a weird look and a finger pointing down the hall.  Would you know that ant did not want to leave my pants.  As soon as it had open air, it ran deeper down my leg.  Then after having to strip completly down, the ant would not be squished by my foot either.  For some reason he was resilient to my sandal.  But, in the end my finger got him and I was able to walk out antless in my pants.  And no one even made a comment.  I totally would have given someone a hard time had they expressed concern that they had an ant in their pants and needed to get it out.
For the moral of these stories.  Because there always has to be a moral.  I have found that I need to keep reminding myself that I need to find the humor in life and take it as it comes and laugh about it.  I find myself getting too caught up in the serious too focused on what should be happening to enjoy what really is happening.  Yet another tender mercy!

What happens when a large mower slides down the road between cars.

I can't help but think how blessed we are.  These past couple weeks have been fairly trying ones.  Here is the list of trials...
1. Very expensive, very needed mower flies out the back of the trailer while driving down the busy road.
2. Wedding diamond falls out in a stack of grass.  Lost.
3. James gets a sore throat.
4. Drive all night to pick up replacement mower.
5. Did I mention is has rained alot?  And when it quits raining, the grass grows faster because the soil is still wet.
6. My house is dirty.
7. I got bit by a dog through a chain link fence while weed eating.
8. I can't think of anymore right now.

Point of story. It is funny how all of these trials, some small, some big, some reoccuring (dirty house) seem to tie all in together.  I lost me diamond a couple weeks ago.  We tried like crazy to get them to honor the insurance we bought even though I did not have the maintenance signatures and certification card.  They weren't really budging.  I even took the diamond earrings in a family friend gave me for our wedding to see if I could trade those in for a new diamond in my ring.  Turns out you can, it just means you have to spend a lot also.
Then we are finally getting some sort of a schedule to our work and I am driving down the road feeling very blessed and all of a sudden I look in the rear view mirror and watch the mower go tumbling out of the trailer and slide down the road while cars veer off to either side.  I was pretty upset... I even cried and punched the steering wheel and then cried some more.  My dear sweet husband who had spent all winter rebuilding it and maintaining it came to save me and only said that it was just a mower and not worry.  We would be alright.  Didn't even say negative things or raise his voice at all.  He's awesome.
As we are driving to the dealer to get an estimate on the damage done.  The jewelry store headquarters calls me and tells me that they are going to go ahead and replace my diamond with one of almost the same quality.  Wowsers!  Talk about low to a high!  Then we get to the dealership and they tell us that our insurance might cover the mower!!  (We are still waiting to hear...)  The dealership lends us a brand new mower to finish out our mowing of 30 plus yards that week and off we go.
As we finish up the week of mowing... Saturday 9pm in pouring rain mowing a ladies yard that had not been cut for weeks... we head to our friend's house who saved us and let our kids stay there an even more absurd long time than usual and picked the kids up to head off to Lakeside.  We left at 10pm and arrived at 7:30am the next morning.  This trip didn't used to take so much out of us... I think we may be getting old.  It is usually a 4.5 hour trip.  Gratefully my Dad has an obsession with working crazy long hours also and he mows and he had a mower that we could borrow that would get our jobs done.  I think he may be in business just to save our butts every time we need a mower. (This is not the first time.  We are so blessed to have such a giving and unselfish dad.)
None the less, we have been trying to play catch up ever since.  I am just so grateful that I am handed the trials that I have and not other peoples.  I am grateful for the tender mercies that are an everyday occurance.  I have only made it through these past couple weeks because I have forced myself to see the good things, the miracles, that happen every day.  Friends ask me what I do...Here is an example day...
6:30am-7am wake up, eat breakfast, load of laundry (never fold, just wash and dry), start on paper work.
7am-8-30am paper work, mow our yard, billing, wash dishes, paper work, bids, etc
8:30am-9:30am see the kids, feed the kids, bath the kids, dress the kids, pack the kids diapers to go.
9:30- 10:30 drop kids off, and start Physically working (not just paper work)...
10:30am - 6-7pm work. this usually entails eating only fruit snacks, banana, sunflower seeds.  mow lawns, start irrigation systems, dig in the dirt, load the trailer, unload the trailer, get wet, get hot, computer work in the truck in between jobs while driving.
6-7pm. pick the kids up
7-9pm unload trailer, bids, maybe make dinner
9-10pm put the kids to bed, scriptures, prayer, bath time (the kids usually get fed in here also... somewhere in evening.)
10pm-12pm You guessed it ... paper work, maybe dishes, laundry, ten oclock news.

This is probably more for me to look back at and laugh than anything.  Oh what crazy people we are.  We are so blessed we have work and we have the ability to perform it and support our family.  We should not be getting all the calls that we do for work.  I am amazed at how we find, more others find us and almost beg us to do work and then sit patiently while we run with our heads cut off trying to get it done.  More we are blessed with everyone who help raise our kids.  You guys are the greatest.  I cannot thank you enough for loving my kiddos. It really takes a village to raise a kid... at least my kids.
Last point of story.  If I didn't have these trials to get me through this life. What would push me?  What pushed the Jaredites across the sea? Not a soft, pleasant breeze.  A strong, powerful storm that threw them across the sea violently.  And guess what.  That wind was sent from a loving Father in Heaven who understood what it would take to get them to the promised land.

Hoy estoy agradecida...

Hoy voy a escribir este blog en espanol... si se dio cuenta...!
Estoy tan agradecida hoy por buenos amigos que apoyan a mi familia y que nos quieren. Estoy agradecida por la confianza que tienen en nosotros y por la fortaleza que tambien nos brinda.
Mas que nada estoy agradecida por mi salvador y la expiacion que hizo para mi y para todos.  No solo para ayudarnos vencer los pecados y debilidades que nos pasan pero tambien para entender el plan de salvacion y el proposito de la vida.  Todos nos hemos equivocado y no somos nadie para juzgar.  Solo estamos aqui para ayudar y dar de todo de lo que tenemos.  No hay nadie perfecto y no somos nadie para juzgar.  Todos tenemos pruebas distintas y diferentes en nuestras vidas para vencer y hacernos mas fuertes y llegar a ser como nuestro salvador.  El futuro de una persona no depende de lo que pienso solo como pueden aplicar la expiacion en su vida.

Rules to garage saling... Pay attention

1. Never take money to a garage sale.  Leave it in your car on the street.
2. Only take a roll of quarters, a few one dollar bills and maybe a few fives if you are looking for something more expensive.  Hide you check book down deep in your purse.
3. Assess the item and the desired price.  Assess the host of garage sale. 
4. Test the hosts garage selling ability..."Would you take (always offer at least half less than what they were originally asking."  If they know what is going on they will shoot back another answer like (a number just a little below the original.) and than you are open to bargain till you run out of guts or til they give in.  But if the host doesn't lower a bit, smile, walk away and browse a bit more.  IF you really want what you were trying to get you can find a junky item that you know they won't want to put back in their garage and offer still less than what the original price is and say, "at least you won't have to haul it back inside..."
5. Make small talk with the host.  Be friendly and make instant bestfriends with them.  If needed make a sob story up... Mine is... college students with two small babies trying to run a business.  It usually helps if the kids are in the car with me.
6. Never tell them how much you will give for an item.  Always ask if they would take this much.  If they say they want a little more you can go to your car to see how much you have.  Pull out how much you want to spend in cash or offer them a check for the amount they want.  They will most always prefer the cash even if it is less than what they wanted.  But, always give them the option to choose.
7. Hate to say it but the early birds get the good items, but the later ones get the best deals because nobody wants to put their stuff away.  Best opportunity for free stuff.  (Be careful, only take what you will potentially use or give to someone...)
8. Act a little ignorant when buying important things.  Make them feel like they are helping you out and teaching you something about the item  you want.  (I did this with a skilsaw... and it worked wonders.  Of course I know how to use one and how to hold it.)
9. Never waste time looking too long at sales.  Do a drive by if needed to scope it.  Sure bet is the next one will have better stuff.
10. Research general areas as to where they are holding garage sales, but do not spend time looking for specific addresses.  Go with the flow and follow the little pink and orange signs!

Good luck!

and the race is on...

I feel like my life consists of one race right after another.  These past few weeks have definately been races.  James' architecture projects have trumped all other responsibility that we could have had... except for maybe eating.  AND... He actually let me help him glue the tiny little pieces of cardboard together and stay up with him for two nights in a row!  We watched a total of seven movies between the two nights.  I have never felt more numb in my life.  But he has now turned the projects in and we wait...  Pray for a good grade. Or like my mom says, "pray that what happens is best for James."  I lean more towards, "Annie, pray that your daddy's professors forget he turned his project in a little late and that they want to give him a good grade!  :)"

A friend commented to me that she would really like to have been able to go through school with her husband.  I looked at her cross eyed.  Why?  Then the turning of sequence of events that have transpired in their lives and I would gladly take my husband in school for the rest of our lives.  We are so blessed!

Now the next race.  Landscaping.  We started today and I didn't feel like a mom abandoning her children.  I have been stressing over who I could have watch my children that would love them and care for them just as much as I would.  But, I also understand that taking in two kids is a handful and I didn't want to burden anyone's lives with a full time babysitting job.  I had so many come to my rescue if I needed them to be there.  We are so loved and have so many great friends!  And now I have awesome people that will give my kids a safe and loving environment without having to have twenty people watch them throughout the week.  Prayers really are answered and blessings are passed on.

And lastly, I am so grateful for a husband who helps me throw together awards for my cub scouts at the last second as we are running out the door to pack meeting after working all day and not stopping but to eat a few donuts.  He is the greatest.

And more lastly, I came home and I had a CD of pictures that a friend, (Ashley Driscoll from Ashley Dawn Photography) took of the kids for her final project in photography. Here's an inside peak!  Look above.  I am too tired to figure out how to put them down below where I wanted them to be.

I like to give free stuff away but...

I have had a few experiences these past few days dealing with free stuff.  I am some what unsettled in how I feel about it.  I truly believe that you are to give of what you have and it will come back to you.  Oprah said that whether you believe in this simple law or not it will manifest itself in your life.  I have experienced it and continue to in our lives.  It is more like the more we give of ourselves the more we are blessed with what we need in our lives.   I have not purchased anything but our matress and boxspring in our house to furnish it.  Funny.  Somewhat mismatched but everything has a story and meaning to it.  I likewise like to pass on what has been given to us for someone else who would like it or needs it.  We have given trailer loads of appliances and furniture away.  So now to these past few days...

I decided to have a garage sale on Saturday.  I had quite a few smaller items like a tvstand, tv, microwave, fan, canopy, small fridge, that I had acquired and tried to give away numerous times but nobody could use them.  So they went to the garage and sat.  Saturday before I made my run to the thrift store to donate them I decided to try having a garage sale... make an offer garage sale.  If they would have said 25 cents for the tv stand I would have been happy... or even I will just take it off of your hands even better!  The only thing I wanted to get money out of was the mini fridge that I actually did purchase for the missionaries to make them a little kitchenette in our basement.  They never ended up using it so I was going to send it down the road.  Business was slow... I changed my ad on craigslist to "almost everything free." 

People came a little quicker... almost too quick.  I ran inside the house to take care of the kids for ten minutes and looked out and found that someone had come and taken the fridge... left everything else.  I felt abused and taken advantage of.  Who just comes to someones garage sale and walks away with the nicest item there ... (I know it was almost everything free... wouldn't you think that would be the item not free?) and then not even wait til I came out or come knock?  I felt violated. 

Flashbacks came of when I was in Peru in Arequipa walking down the street past the ditch full of garbage and dead dogs, past the corner stores, past the barred doors and to our block where we could see the door pried open.  (Our door was obviously not barred...)  Entering the room it was ransacked and gutted of everything!  Even to my shampoo bottles in the bathroom, suitcases full of journals, cameras, shoes three times bigger than anything that would fit a peruvian.  They didn't look in my altoids can for the money I stashed in there.  I guess they thought it was really mints instead of money.  haha. 

My companion was devastated.  She came from a very poor family and now had nothing.  I felt angry.  I felt guilty.  It was my fault that they broke in.  I was the American who had "money."  Of course everyone knew where we lived and what time we were at church... we invited everyone we could tell.  How many taxi drivers had dropped us off there?  I then felt that I needed to learn a lesson at this point and once I took that attitude I could feel peace that we would be alright.  Material possessions do not matter.  They can be recooperated.  What mattered was that we had our families and the gospel.  We could live just fine.  Yes I did finish my mission with just the pair of shoes that I had on my feet that day.  (Turns out it is very hard to find my size in Peru...)  But that was the turning point for me in my mission.  I knew what I had that really mattered to me no one could take away from me.  Not ever.  The rest... who cares?  So they got my expensive, but on sale at penny's luggage set and my new digital camera.  They could never take away my testimony of the true restored gospel.  They could never take away my knowledge of who I am  and the divine destiny that awaits me.  They would never be able to take away my eternal family.

So I decided that I would forgive the person who really needed a free mini fridge.  Maybe they really needed it and I saved their life with it?  Or maybe they really needed the $30 I would have gotten for it.  I guess it is not for me to judge.  I ended up selling most everything that day and donated the rest.  All in all, not a bad day.  We continue to be blessed for living a frugal, humble, and charitable life.  And I am grateful for that.

"I turned him!" she says.

Annie and Hank were playing on the swing today that hangs from the apple tree in our yard.  Hank was strapped in tight and Annie found it hilarious to twist him up as tight as the ropes holding the swing would go and let loose.  They laughed and laughed and Hank looked about like he was going to puke but laughed his way round and round and around.  Annie soon found that she could hang on to the ropes as she let him spin and be whipped around just as fast on the ground beneath the tree.  They did this for almost an hour and it was pure bliss for them.  I would have taken a picture of it and used my new skills of posting pictures, but James took the camera and I don't know how to work my new phone well enough yet... oh well.  We got to eat dinner on the picnic table and the kids and James got to jump on the trampoline.  What fun!  Hank is discovering how to walk on the uneven outside ground.  Boy is he determined.  He falls over and grits his four teeth and back up he goes.  Maybe next time we won't "turn" him, as Annie puts it, so much so he can have more of a chance! 

I figured out how to do pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Annie's tent

   Wow maybe my posts will get an upgrade!!  I figured out how to put pictures in it.  I guess it doesn't take rocket scientist.  You click on the image button....

Any who, guess who is camping tonight?  That is right Annie is!!!  We came home from church and found a neat little tent and fold up lawn chair and a pinata sitting on our back porch from some good friends of ours who spoil Annie and Hank!

She too a nap in it this afternoon and then insisted on sleeping in it tonight.  I even had to zip it up before I could leave the room!

My Mommy

So I thought I would take a few minutes and right a little note to my biggest follower...
"I am a true follower..." so says my mom... (See comments section.)  But she has to say that.

 It is her Birthday today and she gets to turn 32!!!!  I couldn't make her any younger than that because than I would be older than her, and we can't have that... that'd be weird.

These are the reasons why my mom is the best mom in the whole world.  Now I may be biased but I am also entitled to that.
1. My mom always has taught with high expectations and let me know it.  But when I didn't reach the expectation I was never negatively reprimanded or let down.  She just encouraged me to keep on going.
2. My  mom knows everything about cooking.  At least everything that I need to know.  Because I still call her almost 3-4 times a week just with cooking questions.
3. My mom makes me feel like I can do anything and that I can be a good person.
4.My mom loves my kids and husband and doesn't judge us for our mistakes but loves and accepts... and puts her two cents in ... :)
5. My mom taught my sister and I to be best friends and as a result I would rather call my sister to tell her good news or bad news than anybody else... except for maybe my mom.
6. My mom well do anything for anyone (sometimes it takes her a second to realize that she can plan a way to accomplish the task but it always comes together.)
7. My mom is the best hairdresser in the world and all the new hairdressers should learn a thing or two from her.
8. My mom is prepared.
9. My mom loves to read Annie stories on skype and watch Hank walk down the hallway.
10. My mom calls just to talk to Annie and Hank.
11. My mom loves my Dad and honors and respects him.
12. My mom has a testimony of eternal families.
13. My mom has beautiful eyes.
14. My mom gives advice when needed and listens when needed.
15. My mom is innovative and industrious.
16. My mom taught me the importance of living on a budget and living frugally and where our priorities should lie.
17. My mom let me make my own decisions growing up after she taught me correct principles and let me reap the rewards and consequences.
18. My mom can organize everything from a camping trip to a funeral and a wedding in a remarkably short amount of time.
19. My mom maintains her home so that the spirit can be felt there.
20. My mom makes super yummy healthy cookies with only 100 calories...!
21. My mom is always looking for new ways to improve their way of life but never forgetting the important stuff.
22. My mom will always answer the phone even when she is in the middle of canning beets or wrapping a perm or at 11:30pm or when in the shower.
23. My mom has cleaned my house more times than I can count.
24. My mom makes amazing bread and potato soup and really good lasagna and stir fry and vegetable chowder and rhubarb crisp.
25. My mom is my best friend.

I think I will stop there because I will need to leave some more reasons for when she turns 33.  I love you mom!  You are the best!  Happy Birthday!

Nice person

I find my clearer thoughts come to me before I go to sleep.  I lay there thinking about what maybe I could have said or should have said.  Or even what I should have done or didn't do or still might do.  It is a good time for me to solve the world's problems.  The problem is that I usually fall asleep as I come to the conclusion of what the concluding thoughts were going to be.  Tonight I tried to make an acception to that occurance and as I felt I might be drifting off in the midst of a decent discovery,  I jumped out of bed, ran to my computer and would you know it needed restarted to load the Wifi thingy again.  So I happened to catch a wiff of the puke soiled shirt and b.o. from the day and decided to take a shower while I wait.  Now I smell good and feel refreshed and I am going to tackle what I was trying to conclude in bed before all this happened.  This is mainly for me to be able to sort out my own thoughts... because its been that kind of a day.

I was reminded this evening of my little motto... Its not enough to be just a nice person.  I am beginning to see a different side to this.  Example, I walk through the halls at church and most people say,"Hi, How are you?" and before you can even respond they are passed you and if  you answer them back they have a hard time hearing and say, "oh sorry, did you say something?"  Regretfully, I am included in this category.  It is a nice gesture to greet someone but does it make them really care about you?  Does it make them your friend?  Are you really that nice of a person?

The deeper insight I am exploring is that if "just a nice person" would be an enabler.  Someone who really wants to help others so much that they give them fish instead of teaching them to fish and in the end that person ends up starving becuase the enabler was not able to provide the fish for everyone.  There are always good intentions but lack of engaging in learning life lessons to become prudent and provident and self reliant.  After how long does spoon feeding become enabling.  Everyone needs a hand up and an arm to lean on.  When does tough love become the opposer to enabling?  I believe that a person who is "not just a nice person" will be a self less giver, a master teacher and lead by example.  This person forgets about themselves and there inadequacies and  sees the whole of the picture surrounding a situation and then is able to assess the most adequate method of loving.

I would say that the only way that I can reach that level of person is to truly live as though my Savior were standing at my side and do what he would do.  Easier said than done... but not impossible.

Tender Mercy today: I feel like it is hard to choose a tender mercy today.   The day started with feelings of enabling others, hurt and a little angry confusion, continued into tripling a batch of augratin potatoes for a funeral, play group, Annie spraying Hank in the face with disinfectant, naps hardly taken, a nice conversation with a sister, a productive time locked in my room confirming more work for this summer, caring for a sick child, being puked on, disenfecting the house, and recapping my day.  I obviously left out lots...  My tender mercy is that through out all of this I was happy to be apart of it and enjoy the journey.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

2 year old head rub

We had a very fun weekend with James' parents coming up for a quick trip.  But I was wore out between that and conference and making late night trips to Wendy's :) and I was just wore out.  This evening Annie and I cuddled up on the couch to watch "Secret Millionaire"  (Which one day I will be...!)  and I laid my head on her lap and would you know it she started rubbing my head!  She picked that right up and her 2 year old nurturing skills kicked right in.  I loved it!  But then after a while she wiggled away and said, "ouch, hurts."  I lifted my head and she shoved it back down, but this time not on her legs but awkardly into the couch cushion.  She then resumed the brushing/rubbing of my head/hair.  That lasted for about two minutes and then she was off to play with Holland.   That was my tender mercy for the night.  A head/hair rub from Annie!

According to me...

My highlights from conference... according to me.

Paying you tithing is not a gaurantee that you will be rich monetarily.... but you will have the necessities.
- We should not have made it through this past winter on what we were able to save from last summer and the little that we earned doing the little side jobs that we do.  Each month the account is almost drained and then all of a sudden we pay our bills and there is just a bit left over.  Every bill has been paid and have food and money for gas and a home to live in.  Wowsers!  That really should not have happened!  Tithing is a true principal that I cannot afford to not pay.  It is also said that a couple that pays an honest tithe are less likely to get a divorce.  Go figure.  It's all about being submissive, meak, etc.

Love your spouse with a pure love...
- I have really been trying lately to speak James love language and fill his love tank... (I know it sounds cheesy but I don't know how else to say it.  (five love languages))  His languages are quality time and acts of service.  We've shot our bows, I've been a little better at making a lunch for him, making sure he has socks folded when he puts them on so early in the morning... and other stuff.  I think we are benefitting from it.  He seems more motivated and ready to succeed.

Just let it go...
- There are just a couple things that bother me now and then.  They are like a bad zit you can't ever really pop.  It just comes and goes but never really comes to a head and you try popping it but it just scabs over and the infected part never comes out...(you know? Those really bother me, but that's not what I'm talking about.)  I was thinking about it yesterday while I listened to conference and just as I was getting my undies in a bundle over it, the speaker said, "Just let it go."  Or something to that matter.  All I can do is my best and be the most obedient that I can be and the rest well fall into place.

If you have faith, you need not fear...
- That is one thing that has been on my mind.  How well this summer go?  Are we going to be able to pull it all together and find work and be able to pay the gas bill?  Worry is a sign of fear, which is oppisite of of faith.  I know that if I am actively engaged in serving and being obedient I will not need to fear or worry because I can trust that we will come out on top.

Parenting talk...
- I am overwhelmed sometimes about the responsiblity that I have as a mom to teach and instill virtuous principles in the lives of my kids.  The one thing I know is that it is not possible to prepare them to have an eternal family themselves without basing my teachings on those of Christ and helping them learn from His stories.  Positive discipline and reinforcement of Christ like attributes are the most correct ways to build a solid foundation to allow them to develop and mature into the very elect people that they are. 

Preparing to go to Temple...
- My Grandma always taught her family that they were to be sealed in the Temple, nothing else mattered.  At her funeral, my uncle shared his insight that that was the best thing she could have ever taught because of the kind of choices and lifestyle you have to make to be able to reach that goal.  My new goal is to have a picture of a Temple in every room. 

Receiving chastisement...
- I like to think that I am a person that likes to be bettered... but sometimes it is hard for me to choke down criticism.  (I think because I am a "verbal affirmation" love language type.  I feel loved when people compliment me.  I starve for it sometimes and then get cocky when I get it.)  So when I get criticism my defensive mechanism fires up and attacks.  Then the defensive system gets taken out of order and the self improver in me tries to take what I can from it and become better.  This sometimes takes a while and sometimes rather quick.  The afflicted are comforted and the comfortable are afflicted. 

So if you have made it to the end of my little reminder list of some of what stuck out at my while I watched conference than congrats... I think.  All I know is that I have so many areas in my life where I need to improve and better.  The number one goal is to become more Christlike.   Here we go!  We are unstoppable right?

A brief synopsis of the birds, birthdays, phone calls, Jesus, and head locks... Annie and Hank

Can I just say that I have the coolest kids ever in the world?  I am not a biased parent and I am definitely not putting down anyone else's kids, but mine are way cool and just fun.  For example...


Annie's pediatrician tells her when she checks her ears out that there are little birdies in them and to listen closely.  I didn't think Annie really got it until this week when she found a little flashlight and held in up to Hank's ear and said, "Baby, birdies!  Birdies!  Birdies!"  and of course Hank pulled out his "save me defense mechanism" and reached up and pulled her hair and she ran off.

Hank took four feet worth of steps tonight!  Then he crawled back into the backroom, pulled the cords out of the computer and looked up and me with a smile... "uhoh" he said.  Uh oh is is favorite word as of late.  That and momma.

Then Hank was found very secretively and elusively double timing the chocolate chips by the handfuls in the food closet.  All he did was look up at me and smile like he was on top of the world and spinning!  Chocolate was smeared all over his four teeth and lips.

Speaking of food... We were treated to Annie's TV soup last  night.  She took the ladles that she and Hank were playing with and went to the TV and pushed the color control buttons while making a shhhhhww sound as she filled up the ladle with TV soup and then served Kelly, Greg, James and myself.  After a couple servings James got full and decided to dump his ladle full of TV soup on my head which caused Annie's jaw to drop and then the lights flashed and all of a sudden everyone was getting soup dumped on their heads.  What great fun with TV soup.  But she did have a very interesting invention.  She filled the ladle up with soup and then sucked on the top of the handle as if it were a straw sucking up all the soup in the scoopy part.  I think she could be on to something.

Oh and potty training...  we put her in real underwear today... and changed the real underwear four times.  I hope she gets is sooner than later.  We have a lot of carpet.  But, she sure like to go poo poo which directly correlates to chocolate in her brain.  Weird.

But we did have changing into about thirty different outfits (slight exaggeration).  A friend gave Annie some of her daughter's old clothes and Annie had to try on all of them.  Her favorite... the butterfly pj top with the flowers pj bottoms and the butterfly shorts shoved underneath the pants.  She can now dress herself! and undress herself!   and undress herself!  and dress herself!...

Hank loves frozen (half way thawed) blueberries and strawberries.  So much so that he sucks them right up like a vacuum, sounds and all.  And he really loves pancakes and chocolate chip cookies and he drinks more milk than a herd of calves.  He's a thirsty one.

Annie loves going to Grandma's beauty shop and getting her hair done.  She sits perfectly still and looks in the mirror while grandma snips away... and styles away.  She always comes out looking just like I did when I was her age after mom did my hair.  Go figure!  She then helps the nail tech pick out the colors to paint her clients nails.  What a good helper...  (She also likes mommy's beauty shop... the toilet, a blow dryer and a brush.)

And they both love to talk to Grandma on skype.  Annie packs around my little laptop and shows grandma all over.  They go into the fort together and then read stories together and then Hank usually wonders over and will slam the screen closed.  But, it poses as a great babysitter for a bit so I can do dishes or sort clothes.

They both love to tackle and wrestle each other.  They giggle and laugh and pull hair and put each other in head locks and leg locks and get drug by their shirts... (well Hank gets more drug than Annie but paybacks will happen one day.)  Lots of visitors to our home usually are surprised as to how hard they play and gasps are not uncommon.  But the rule is when someone starts crying then we quit, which then usually turns into a laugh anyways.  Lots of fun...  They'll be tough right?

Annie can successfully count to three in spanish and english... but they are usually mixed together.... Like this: uno, two, tres...

Hank loves his tummy to get tickled and raspberries.  He throws his head back wholeheartedly and laughs from deep within.  I love it!  I love that both of my kids have a hearty laugh.  They can belt it out!

Annie has a birthday almost everyday now.  She sings..."birfday, birfday, annie birfday!  mommy birfday!  daddy birfday!  Daddy birfday!   birfday....

She talks to Juan, Cami, Grandpa Gene, Tris Tris, Daddy, Daa and puppy on the elmo phone almost twice a day if not more.  But, she rarely never wants to talk in depth with the real person.

Annie says her own prayers now... this is how it goes...  Henvly Fa, Ble Mommy, daddy,Mommy, daddy baby, annie, baby, ble food, Jeeses, AMEN!

Movies are a favorite... sunday we only watch churchy movies... I watched finding faith in christ 4 times today.  It is her favorite.  She loves watching Jesus.  After the mission and watching it soooo many times then I thought I would be alright without it for quite a while... now I am sure of it.  But, I can't complain.  It could be worse.

Hank still watches intently everything that Annie does and loves her.  He is definitely leaving baby stage and entering toddler stage!  Yikes....!!!  But so much fun.  He is tough.  I just caught him pushing around and manhandling a baby stroller for dolls his Grandma Sherrie gave Annie.  He can hang from James' fingers with just hanging on by his hands.  And...  dudnu da!!  After almost ten months of refusing a bottle... he only wants a bottle and mommy has been booted.  Can't say that I am very sad... kind of but that's ok. 

... and it is 1:30am and I probably should go to bed.  I don't sleep well when James is up doing homework all night.  But I might now.  Sorry for the ramblings I just felt like I would forget all of this stuff and maybe someone out there might just want to know what the heck is going on with the kiddos.
Speaking of you out there!!!  I just got to the 10 follower mark!!!  Man is this blog getting popular... haha.  Just jokes!  But I was excited to see more people follow me.  Not at all like the crafty blogs I try not to waste all my time with. (They all have hundreds if not thousands of followers.)
Maybe once I find my camera I will add pictures to this blog.  We shall see.  It seems to be the cool thing to do.

Good night... morning?

Last night I felt peace

It has been a long time since I have actually felt peace... the peace that leaves you feeling like you are unstoppable, that everything well be alright and that you can completly trust that you will make it through.  It's like after going to the chiropractor and she adjusts the upper mid section of your back... right in between your shoulder blades up to your neck and you get off the table and feel marvelous, because you had no idea how much pain your back was really in because you just dealt with it and didn't have time to pay it any attention.  Life goes on. 
I remember feeling that kind of in depth peace a few times in my life.  The most prominent when I was sitting in the temple in Provo contemplating having left my boyfriend to go on the mission...  Did I make the right choice, should I go back?  I felt a rush of peace surge my body and the feeling come over me to trust and have courage.  That has stuck with me through the rest of the years to the present.  But I have been needing to feel that pure, saturating and penetrating peace again.  I needed recharged.
I laid in bed last night next to my husband praying and that feeling came over me again and the thoughts, Trust, courage.  I was so greatful that my Father in Heaven loves and knows me so well that he allows me to feel a portion of the peace and trust that he has for us. 

Now as I lay in bed, I don't feel that magnitude of peace, but I know that it was spoken to me and I can remember and rely on it.

All you need is a little love.

I was driving home from reffing my basketball game this evening... Kind of ruffled up because I hate feeling like nobody likes me... and a little frustrated that with scholastic issues occurring in the life of my husband.  I was planning a huge speech in my head about "I told you so's" and "don't you care's" and "Come on's" which was just causing me to get more ruffled under the feathers and drive probably way too fast.  Upon arriving at my destination to pick up the kids I was ready to let off some steam.  (Wii boxing definitely helped)  but as I continued on my journey home, the thought landed and materialized in my brain and heart...  you really just need to love you husband.  I had tried soo hard all week long to use different methods of motivation, bribing, ragging, threatening, silent treatment, distraction... the list goes on.  The final result was me being frustrated and James coming home like a tank.  I knew that all my nagging all week long did not leave a pleasant spirit in our home but I was desperate.  So desperate that I was denying myself the ability to be led by the spirit and let my prayers be answered.  I now know that the only way I will be able to help him light his spark of motivation, passion, and brilliance will be to love him harder than ever before.  (And yes I am going to read the five love languages.  (I was recommended that I read this book years ago... but didn't... guess I finally have learned part of a lesson.))

So onwards and upwards...How do you all love harder and more?  Tender mercy for me tonight.  My prayer was answered...  James did not do well on his project (even though I prayed really hard for this.  Turns out I can't control this part the mercy)... but I found out how I can help him out.

Addictions

I have friends who give me a hard time that I would much rather save coins in a jar for garagesaling ( I swear it is a verb)  than for a day at the spa or a vacation...  But it is true.  I get such a rush from getting a good deal on something I could or could not need.  (However, I always argue that we will always need something or know of someone to need something... right?)  I have been going through withdrawals this past couple months and have been needing something to fill the frugality need in me.  My solution?  Blogs... more specific "do it yourself blogs."  I have all of a sudden resurrected the crafter that I attempted at being while I was in 4H oh so many years ago.  (I never really made it passed making a jewelry holder.)  I now am able to get a rush off of redecorating my house, giving gifts with out spending and use up some of the must have garage sale finds that have been storing up.  Annie was invited to a Birthday party the other day and I put to use my "fabric flower" making skills to throw together some headbands for her.  (hehe  I even made one for me!)  I built a shelf for my bathroom, painted two plant pots, made a blanket for Annie, recovered two lamps and am in the process of making covers for my pillows!!!  Mostly all from materials that I have either picked up really clearanced or from freecycle!  Wowsers! I even picked up a new area rug for our dining room that is in perfect shape and actually matches for free!!!  Next on the list to do... redo my laundry area.  Good luck!

Just some of the little tender mercies to help us get through the day!  Gotta love those addictions!

Upside down reading

I remember when I was younger we went to my uncle's house for dinner on a Sunday afternoon.  All of us kids were running around making terrors of ourselves chasing each other from one room to the other and then outside chasing the cows and the dogs and hiding in the hay bails.  At one point in time I ran by my uncles Jeep and happened to glance in.  I saw my cousin (maybe 5 or 6 at the time) sitting in there with the Book of Mormon open...(upside down) reading it.  She was so focused on reading it that she didn't notice us zooming around outside laughing and playing.  I remember thinking, "wow, should I be doing that?"  It passed and I ran away.  I have never forgot about my little cousin sitting in the Jeep reading when she could have been playing.  I have always felt that I wanted to one day see my kids voluntarily read the Book of Mormon or other scriptures because they wanted to.
Fast forward to last night.  It happened.  Annie came in with several books that she wanted to read while she fell asleep.  (This has been saving us from having crying fits at night.  She gets to choose two books to read and most often falls asleep before they are even done.)  As I went in to turn off the light last night I found the two books she chose of to the side and the Book of Mormon we had just finished reading as a family open at her side (upside down) and she was conked out.  I don't know if she finally got smart and realized that if she reads the Book of Mormon she will go to sleep faster...or that she sees us reading it and wanted to follow suite...  At any rate, I feel blessed to have such wonderful children and that puts so much more pressure on us to keep trying to do what is right to set the example for them.

Forget yourself

So I have been attempting to do an experiment that I picked up from the example of a friend a few years ago... It's called... serving to get friends... Well maybe that is not the good way to think about it or go about it but it always seemed to work for her and it is working for me I feel.

I have a friend that would bend over backwards for anyone. I didn't even realize that she considered me a friend until she gave me a baby shower and than did so many nice things for me over the course of having bad days and having babies and just needing someone to talk to. I must have been pretty blind because she had to work really hard for me to really see that she was working really hard to serve me. The difference is that I don't think she did it to gain a friend but that she really wanted to be like Christ and follow His example.

This past year I have decided that if I want to be happy and feel needed and wanted than I had better step it up and serve the people that I think need it and those that I would like to get to know better. I have been amazed at the friends that I have developed and grown to love. But, mostly I have been completely blown away at the fact that they want to serve me back. I am truly blessed to have so many good friends that care for my family and I.

Now don't get me wrong. It is not easy and although it seems I want to give give give...(or maybe it doesn't) it requires some sacrifice but I feel that I don't have as many problems or worries when I am thinking about what I can do for the next person. President Hinckley said,
"Forget yourself and get to work." I lived by that motto on my mission and I am remembering why I loved it so much then.

So if you get a call from me or I offer to help you out... please don't think I am trying to bribe your friendship... but that I truly want to make your life easier and be of any help that I can be. And if for some reason I don't call you up and ask to help you out... I want to still help you out, but I am just a little on the dense side sometimes and don't see what needs seen. Feel free to give me a punch in the shoulder and tell me what needs done!

The parable of the floating christmas tree

So this is an interesting story that I really don't know how or what to make of it... We decided to be entrepreneurial this week and drive around Bozeman and pick up Christmas trees. We have friends that have done it in the past and they were able to make pretty good money at it. So the four of us loaded up in the truck and headed out in search of the trees planted in people's snow hills that they so carefully placed to make it look like they have a real tree growing in their yard. (Surprisingly, lots of people do this.) It was almost like garage saling and almost got the same high of finding a pink or bright orange sign as I did finding these transplanted trees floating in the snow. Well the first little old lady that answered the door was so pleased that we had come to collect her tree until she heard that we wanted to also collect $5 to haul it away. She mysteriously turned into a very capable and willing person to manhandle her own tree into her car and haul it across town and rid herself of it herself. Kind of aggravated by the change in tone, I took her tree anyway. An empty trailer doesn't look good. Trees in the trailer would lead others to think that it is the cool thing to do. Everyone should send their tree with us. As we made the next few stops, I had some successful attempts at collecting the $5 dollars, but it was very awkward as they all were delighted at first to find that some good soul was taking pity on them and collecting their Christmas tree. However, more than not we left the house with the tree still transplanted in the snow bank. I was beginning to feel like this business venture was a complete waste of time. I decided to just take their tree even if they didn't want to pay for it. The next house a middle aged contractor type man answered the door ecstatic that we wanted to haul off his tree. I awkwardly stood there waiting for him to make the first move about how much it would cost to haul it off. Turns out he suggested that he "donate" money to the cause. HAHA! Perfect! I didn't have to charge him, he would just donate his hard earned money. And would you know it? He donated $10! This idea stuck for the rest of the afternoon. I no longer charged anyone and if they asked I told them donations would be accepted to the Poor Stewart family college fund. HAHA. I only got a couple of weird looks and only one person maybe me promise to donate some of the proceeds to scouting... The funny thing is that those that donated gave an average of $10. Those that didn't feel it needful to donate were still blessed with the absence of their floating tree. All in all we made way less than minimum wage today, but I think we may have brightened a few people's day and they to us also.
It just really goes to show that when we forget ourselves and serve others (even though we were accepting donations) we are blessed. I know that the Lord wants us to be happy. But, sometimes we just have to not do things how they make sense to us and do them how He would have us do them. We shall see how the rest of the week goes! And if anyone would like a trailer load of Christmas trees to transplant in your snow banks... you know who to call.