Nice person

I find my clearer thoughts come to me before I go to sleep.  I lay there thinking about what maybe I could have said or should have said.  Or even what I should have done or didn't do or still might do.  It is a good time for me to solve the world's problems.  The problem is that I usually fall asleep as I come to the conclusion of what the concluding thoughts were going to be.  Tonight I tried to make an acception to that occurance and as I felt I might be drifting off in the midst of a decent discovery,  I jumped out of bed, ran to my computer and would you know it needed restarted to load the Wifi thingy again.  So I happened to catch a wiff of the puke soiled shirt and b.o. from the day and decided to take a shower while I wait.  Now I smell good and feel refreshed and I am going to tackle what I was trying to conclude in bed before all this happened.  This is mainly for me to be able to sort out my own thoughts... because its been that kind of a day.

I was reminded this evening of my little motto... Its not enough to be just a nice person.  I am beginning to see a different side to this.  Example, I walk through the halls at church and most people say,"Hi, How are you?" and before you can even respond they are passed you and if  you answer them back they have a hard time hearing and say, "oh sorry, did you say something?"  Regretfully, I am included in this category.  It is a nice gesture to greet someone but does it make them really care about you?  Does it make them your friend?  Are you really that nice of a person?

The deeper insight I am exploring is that if "just a nice person" would be an enabler.  Someone who really wants to help others so much that they give them fish instead of teaching them to fish and in the end that person ends up starving becuase the enabler was not able to provide the fish for everyone.  There are always good intentions but lack of engaging in learning life lessons to become prudent and provident and self reliant.  After how long does spoon feeding become enabling.  Everyone needs a hand up and an arm to lean on.  When does tough love become the opposer to enabling?  I believe that a person who is "not just a nice person" will be a self less giver, a master teacher and lead by example.  This person forgets about themselves and there inadequacies and  sees the whole of the picture surrounding a situation and then is able to assess the most adequate method of loving.

I would say that the only way that I can reach that level of person is to truly live as though my Savior were standing at my side and do what he would do.  Easier said than done... but not impossible.

Tender Mercy today: I feel like it is hard to choose a tender mercy today.   The day started with feelings of enabling others, hurt and a little angry confusion, continued into tripling a batch of augratin potatoes for a funeral, play group, Annie spraying Hank in the face with disinfectant, naps hardly taken, a nice conversation with a sister, a productive time locked in my room confirming more work for this summer, caring for a sick child, being puked on, disenfecting the house, and recapping my day.  I obviously left out lots...  My tender mercy is that through out all of this I was happy to be apart of it and enjoy the journey.  I wouldn't have it any other way.