and the race is on...

I feel like my life consists of one race right after another.  These past few weeks have definately been races.  James' architecture projects have trumped all other responsibility that we could have had... except for maybe eating.  AND... He actually let me help him glue the tiny little pieces of cardboard together and stay up with him for two nights in a row!  We watched a total of seven movies between the two nights.  I have never felt more numb in my life.  But he has now turned the projects in and we wait...  Pray for a good grade. Or like my mom says, "pray that what happens is best for James."  I lean more towards, "Annie, pray that your daddy's professors forget he turned his project in a little late and that they want to give him a good grade!  :)"

A friend commented to me that she would really like to have been able to go through school with her husband.  I looked at her cross eyed.  Why?  Then the turning of sequence of events that have transpired in their lives and I would gladly take my husband in school for the rest of our lives.  We are so blessed!

Now the next race.  Landscaping.  We started today and I didn't feel like a mom abandoning her children.  I have been stressing over who I could have watch my children that would love them and care for them just as much as I would.  But, I also understand that taking in two kids is a handful and I didn't want to burden anyone's lives with a full time babysitting job.  I had so many come to my rescue if I needed them to be there.  We are so loved and have so many great friends!  And now I have awesome people that will give my kids a safe and loving environment without having to have twenty people watch them throughout the week.  Prayers really are answered and blessings are passed on.

And lastly, I am so grateful for a husband who helps me throw together awards for my cub scouts at the last second as we are running out the door to pack meeting after working all day and not stopping but to eat a few donuts.  He is the greatest.

And more lastly, I came home and I had a CD of pictures that a friend, (Ashley Driscoll from Ashley Dawn Photography) took of the kids for her final project in photography. Here's an inside peak!  Look above.  I am too tired to figure out how to put them down below where I wanted them to be.

I like to give free stuff away but...

I have had a few experiences these past few days dealing with free stuff.  I am some what unsettled in how I feel about it.  I truly believe that you are to give of what you have and it will come back to you.  Oprah said that whether you believe in this simple law or not it will manifest itself in your life.  I have experienced it and continue to in our lives.  It is more like the more we give of ourselves the more we are blessed with what we need in our lives.   I have not purchased anything but our matress and boxspring in our house to furnish it.  Funny.  Somewhat mismatched but everything has a story and meaning to it.  I likewise like to pass on what has been given to us for someone else who would like it or needs it.  We have given trailer loads of appliances and furniture away.  So now to these past few days...

I decided to have a garage sale on Saturday.  I had quite a few smaller items like a tvstand, tv, microwave, fan, canopy, small fridge, that I had acquired and tried to give away numerous times but nobody could use them.  So they went to the garage and sat.  Saturday before I made my run to the thrift store to donate them I decided to try having a garage sale... make an offer garage sale.  If they would have said 25 cents for the tv stand I would have been happy... or even I will just take it off of your hands even better!  The only thing I wanted to get money out of was the mini fridge that I actually did purchase for the missionaries to make them a little kitchenette in our basement.  They never ended up using it so I was going to send it down the road.  Business was slow... I changed my ad on craigslist to "almost everything free." 

People came a little quicker... almost too quick.  I ran inside the house to take care of the kids for ten minutes and looked out and found that someone had come and taken the fridge... left everything else.  I felt abused and taken advantage of.  Who just comes to someones garage sale and walks away with the nicest item there ... (I know it was almost everything free... wouldn't you think that would be the item not free?) and then not even wait til I came out or come knock?  I felt violated. 

Flashbacks came of when I was in Peru in Arequipa walking down the street past the ditch full of garbage and dead dogs, past the corner stores, past the barred doors and to our block where we could see the door pried open.  (Our door was obviously not barred...)  Entering the room it was ransacked and gutted of everything!  Even to my shampoo bottles in the bathroom, suitcases full of journals, cameras, shoes three times bigger than anything that would fit a peruvian.  They didn't look in my altoids can for the money I stashed in there.  I guess they thought it was really mints instead of money.  haha. 

My companion was devastated.  She came from a very poor family and now had nothing.  I felt angry.  I felt guilty.  It was my fault that they broke in.  I was the American who had "money."  Of course everyone knew where we lived and what time we were at church... we invited everyone we could tell.  How many taxi drivers had dropped us off there?  I then felt that I needed to learn a lesson at this point and once I took that attitude I could feel peace that we would be alright.  Material possessions do not matter.  They can be recooperated.  What mattered was that we had our families and the gospel.  We could live just fine.  Yes I did finish my mission with just the pair of shoes that I had on my feet that day.  (Turns out it is very hard to find my size in Peru...)  But that was the turning point for me in my mission.  I knew what I had that really mattered to me no one could take away from me.  Not ever.  The rest... who cares?  So they got my expensive, but on sale at penny's luggage set and my new digital camera.  They could never take away my testimony of the true restored gospel.  They could never take away my knowledge of who I am  and the divine destiny that awaits me.  They would never be able to take away my eternal family.

So I decided that I would forgive the person who really needed a free mini fridge.  Maybe they really needed it and I saved their life with it?  Or maybe they really needed the $30 I would have gotten for it.  I guess it is not for me to judge.  I ended up selling most everything that day and donated the rest.  All in all, not a bad day.  We continue to be blessed for living a frugal, humble, and charitable life.  And I am grateful for that.

"I turned him!" she says.

Annie and Hank were playing on the swing today that hangs from the apple tree in our yard.  Hank was strapped in tight and Annie found it hilarious to twist him up as tight as the ropes holding the swing would go and let loose.  They laughed and laughed and Hank looked about like he was going to puke but laughed his way round and round and around.  Annie soon found that she could hang on to the ropes as she let him spin and be whipped around just as fast on the ground beneath the tree.  They did this for almost an hour and it was pure bliss for them.  I would have taken a picture of it and used my new skills of posting pictures, but James took the camera and I don't know how to work my new phone well enough yet... oh well.  We got to eat dinner on the picnic table and the kids and James got to jump on the trampoline.  What fun!  Hank is discovering how to walk on the uneven outside ground.  Boy is he determined.  He falls over and grits his four teeth and back up he goes.  Maybe next time we won't "turn" him, as Annie puts it, so much so he can have more of a chance! 

I figured out how to do pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Annie's tent

   Wow maybe my posts will get an upgrade!!  I figured out how to put pictures in it.  I guess it doesn't take rocket scientist.  You click on the image button....

Any who, guess who is camping tonight?  That is right Annie is!!!  We came home from church and found a neat little tent and fold up lawn chair and a pinata sitting on our back porch from some good friends of ours who spoil Annie and Hank!

She too a nap in it this afternoon and then insisted on sleeping in it tonight.  I even had to zip it up before I could leave the room!

My Mommy

So I thought I would take a few minutes and right a little note to my biggest follower...
"I am a true follower..." so says my mom... (See comments section.)  But she has to say that.

 It is her Birthday today and she gets to turn 32!!!!  I couldn't make her any younger than that because than I would be older than her, and we can't have that... that'd be weird.

These are the reasons why my mom is the best mom in the whole world.  Now I may be biased but I am also entitled to that.
1. My mom always has taught with high expectations and let me know it.  But when I didn't reach the expectation I was never negatively reprimanded or let down.  She just encouraged me to keep on going.
2. My  mom knows everything about cooking.  At least everything that I need to know.  Because I still call her almost 3-4 times a week just with cooking questions.
3. My mom makes me feel like I can do anything and that I can be a good person.
4.My mom loves my kids and husband and doesn't judge us for our mistakes but loves and accepts... and puts her two cents in ... :)
5. My mom taught my sister and I to be best friends and as a result I would rather call my sister to tell her good news or bad news than anybody else... except for maybe my mom.
6. My mom well do anything for anyone (sometimes it takes her a second to realize that she can plan a way to accomplish the task but it always comes together.)
7. My mom is the best hairdresser in the world and all the new hairdressers should learn a thing or two from her.
8. My mom is prepared.
9. My mom loves to read Annie stories on skype and watch Hank walk down the hallway.
10. My mom calls just to talk to Annie and Hank.
11. My mom loves my Dad and honors and respects him.
12. My mom has a testimony of eternal families.
13. My mom has beautiful eyes.
14. My mom gives advice when needed and listens when needed.
15. My mom is innovative and industrious.
16. My mom taught me the importance of living on a budget and living frugally and where our priorities should lie.
17. My mom let me make my own decisions growing up after she taught me correct principles and let me reap the rewards and consequences.
18. My mom can organize everything from a camping trip to a funeral and a wedding in a remarkably short amount of time.
19. My mom maintains her home so that the spirit can be felt there.
20. My mom makes super yummy healthy cookies with only 100 calories...!
21. My mom is always looking for new ways to improve their way of life but never forgetting the important stuff.
22. My mom will always answer the phone even when she is in the middle of canning beets or wrapping a perm or at 11:30pm or when in the shower.
23. My mom has cleaned my house more times than I can count.
24. My mom makes amazing bread and potato soup and really good lasagna and stir fry and vegetable chowder and rhubarb crisp.
25. My mom is my best friend.

I think I will stop there because I will need to leave some more reasons for when she turns 33.  I love you mom!  You are the best!  Happy Birthday!

Nice person

I find my clearer thoughts come to me before I go to sleep.  I lay there thinking about what maybe I could have said or should have said.  Or even what I should have done or didn't do or still might do.  It is a good time for me to solve the world's problems.  The problem is that I usually fall asleep as I come to the conclusion of what the concluding thoughts were going to be.  Tonight I tried to make an acception to that occurance and as I felt I might be drifting off in the midst of a decent discovery,  I jumped out of bed, ran to my computer and would you know it needed restarted to load the Wifi thingy again.  So I happened to catch a wiff of the puke soiled shirt and b.o. from the day and decided to take a shower while I wait.  Now I smell good and feel refreshed and I am going to tackle what I was trying to conclude in bed before all this happened.  This is mainly for me to be able to sort out my own thoughts... because its been that kind of a day.

I was reminded this evening of my little motto... Its not enough to be just a nice person.  I am beginning to see a different side to this.  Example, I walk through the halls at church and most people say,"Hi, How are you?" and before you can even respond they are passed you and if  you answer them back they have a hard time hearing and say, "oh sorry, did you say something?"  Regretfully, I am included in this category.  It is a nice gesture to greet someone but does it make them really care about you?  Does it make them your friend?  Are you really that nice of a person?

The deeper insight I am exploring is that if "just a nice person" would be an enabler.  Someone who really wants to help others so much that they give them fish instead of teaching them to fish and in the end that person ends up starving becuase the enabler was not able to provide the fish for everyone.  There are always good intentions but lack of engaging in learning life lessons to become prudent and provident and self reliant.  After how long does spoon feeding become enabling.  Everyone needs a hand up and an arm to lean on.  When does tough love become the opposer to enabling?  I believe that a person who is "not just a nice person" will be a self less giver, a master teacher and lead by example.  This person forgets about themselves and there inadequacies and  sees the whole of the picture surrounding a situation and then is able to assess the most adequate method of loving.

I would say that the only way that I can reach that level of person is to truly live as though my Savior were standing at my side and do what he would do.  Easier said than done... but not impossible.

Tender Mercy today: I feel like it is hard to choose a tender mercy today.   The day started with feelings of enabling others, hurt and a little angry confusion, continued into tripling a batch of augratin potatoes for a funeral, play group, Annie spraying Hank in the face with disinfectant, naps hardly taken, a nice conversation with a sister, a productive time locked in my room confirming more work for this summer, caring for a sick child, being puked on, disenfecting the house, and recapping my day.  I obviously left out lots...  My tender mercy is that through out all of this I was happy to be apart of it and enjoy the journey.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

2 year old head rub

We had a very fun weekend with James' parents coming up for a quick trip.  But I was wore out between that and conference and making late night trips to Wendy's :) and I was just wore out.  This evening Annie and I cuddled up on the couch to watch "Secret Millionaire"  (Which one day I will be...!)  and I laid my head on her lap and would you know it she started rubbing my head!  She picked that right up and her 2 year old nurturing skills kicked right in.  I loved it!  But then after a while she wiggled away and said, "ouch, hurts."  I lifted my head and she shoved it back down, but this time not on her legs but awkardly into the couch cushion.  She then resumed the brushing/rubbing of my head/hair.  That lasted for about two minutes and then she was off to play with Holland.   That was my tender mercy for the night.  A head/hair rub from Annie!

According to me...

My highlights from conference... according to me.

Paying you tithing is not a gaurantee that you will be rich monetarily.... but you will have the necessities.
- We should not have made it through this past winter on what we were able to save from last summer and the little that we earned doing the little side jobs that we do.  Each month the account is almost drained and then all of a sudden we pay our bills and there is just a bit left over.  Every bill has been paid and have food and money for gas and a home to live in.  Wowsers!  That really should not have happened!  Tithing is a true principal that I cannot afford to not pay.  It is also said that a couple that pays an honest tithe are less likely to get a divorce.  Go figure.  It's all about being submissive, meak, etc.

Love your spouse with a pure love...
- I have really been trying lately to speak James love language and fill his love tank... (I know it sounds cheesy but I don't know how else to say it.  (five love languages))  His languages are quality time and acts of service.  We've shot our bows, I've been a little better at making a lunch for him, making sure he has socks folded when he puts them on so early in the morning... and other stuff.  I think we are benefitting from it.  He seems more motivated and ready to succeed.

Just let it go...
- There are just a couple things that bother me now and then.  They are like a bad zit you can't ever really pop.  It just comes and goes but never really comes to a head and you try popping it but it just scabs over and the infected part never comes out...(you know? Those really bother me, but that's not what I'm talking about.)  I was thinking about it yesterday while I listened to conference and just as I was getting my undies in a bundle over it, the speaker said, "Just let it go."  Or something to that matter.  All I can do is my best and be the most obedient that I can be and the rest well fall into place.

If you have faith, you need not fear...
- That is one thing that has been on my mind.  How well this summer go?  Are we going to be able to pull it all together and find work and be able to pay the gas bill?  Worry is a sign of fear, which is oppisite of of faith.  I know that if I am actively engaged in serving and being obedient I will not need to fear or worry because I can trust that we will come out on top.

Parenting talk...
- I am overwhelmed sometimes about the responsiblity that I have as a mom to teach and instill virtuous principles in the lives of my kids.  The one thing I know is that it is not possible to prepare them to have an eternal family themselves without basing my teachings on those of Christ and helping them learn from His stories.  Positive discipline and reinforcement of Christ like attributes are the most correct ways to build a solid foundation to allow them to develop and mature into the very elect people that they are. 

Preparing to go to Temple...
- My Grandma always taught her family that they were to be sealed in the Temple, nothing else mattered.  At her funeral, my uncle shared his insight that that was the best thing she could have ever taught because of the kind of choices and lifestyle you have to make to be able to reach that goal.  My new goal is to have a picture of a Temple in every room. 

Receiving chastisement...
- I like to think that I am a person that likes to be bettered... but sometimes it is hard for me to choke down criticism.  (I think because I am a "verbal affirmation" love language type.  I feel loved when people compliment me.  I starve for it sometimes and then get cocky when I get it.)  So when I get criticism my defensive mechanism fires up and attacks.  Then the defensive system gets taken out of order and the self improver in me tries to take what I can from it and become better.  This sometimes takes a while and sometimes rather quick.  The afflicted are comforted and the comfortable are afflicted. 

So if you have made it to the end of my little reminder list of some of what stuck out at my while I watched conference than congrats... I think.  All I know is that I have so many areas in my life where I need to improve and better.  The number one goal is to become more Christlike.   Here we go!  We are unstoppable right?