Tender Mercies...

I have been wanting to right another post for two weeks now but I found myself not willing to write very much when I felt like complaining as I would like to keep this post as positive as possible. But, it seems that as I arrive home at ten oclock at night from working or various other activities to a dirty home, laundry scattered everywhere and hungry kids and husband, it becomes hard to keep a positive outlook. So as I scramble together something for dinner and pick up just enough to make me feel like I attempted to maintain my home in a liveable manner and hustle Annie to bed for scriptures and family prayer I just want to collapse and hope that the next day allows for more time... haha. I have been trying very hard to read my scriptures daily. My visiting teacher promised me a couple of months ago that if I do that I will be able to accomplish more during the day. Last night I was considerably of the attitude oh wo is me. At one oclock as I found myself slipping into bed discouraged because my laundry was still not done and in baskets, the kitchen not cleaned and I still had billing to get done from last month. As I laid there in bed, I rolled over and looked at the scriptures sitting on the bedstand. Okay one verse I said... the verse I read was Lehi condemning Laman and Lemuel for their murmuurings... I laid there and contemplated... what was the main difference between Laman and Lemuel and Nephi? Murmuring. Nephi never murmured. He just took it as it was, courageously obeying every command, never complaining about a single trial, hardship, anything. I thought... no wonder I felt my week was so crummy... I was thinking like Laman and Lemuel would have. Nephi would have thought differently and would have had a better week. I do not want to be compared to a couple of wicked brothers... Goal for this week ... not murmur... even in my own head.
I am just greatful that I have a Father in Heaven who allows me to pass through trials and waits patiently as I run around without my head off to one side until I finally run into something and remember what I need to be doing. In my opinion, I view trials as tender mercies. They only help me grow and become more polished.

Speaking of tender mercies... I once read, "having kids is like paying tithing. You do it with faith that it will all work out." or something like that. That has been my husbands and I's philosophy for the most part. And now as we have two under the age of two, a busy landscape business, and he is starting school again this semester and I am reffing volleyball, I have to rely on that promise and comparison alot more. We are in the situation that I do have to work quite a bit to run this business on the job site and running the books. I sometimes feel great guilt in that I am letting others raise my kids and that I am not there for them everyday, all day long. We have been so blessed with such wonderful people that open their homes to my babies and love them. And when I think, I can't do this anymore and start complaining I remember how stinking blessed we are and that we are not doing this on our own at all. Once again, my Father in Heaven knows me and my family well and knows the willingness and earnest attempt we are making at living a righteous life and He does not leave us alone ever. So thank you to everyone who has helped us out and continues to in the future. Hopefully you are all as blessed as we are.